Keep Your Eyes on the Prize
by bsloths
Summary: Derek Venturi: the modern day Holden Caulfield? Maybe, maybe not. Oneshot in Derek's POV. Unrequited Dasey, Dendra.


Have you noticed the necklace Derek wears in every episode of Season 3?

I've been obsessing over Derek's ring necklace for far too long now, so I decided I'd better put my thoughts into a story. Maybe now I can stop wasting energy thinking about its hidden meaning. (I'm convinced there is one, even though Casey always wears that butterfly necklace, and other characters repeat clothing and jewelry, too. But rings are so symbolic; it's interesting Derek is wearing one. There are a million possibilities.)

A special thanks to MaybeBaby27, jeytonlover, Invalid Minds, and jannikajade (and anyone else to whom I may have mentioned it) for listening patiently as I rambled about the necklace, and for putting in their own two cents so I didn't feel like such a loser for obsessing over it.

Derek started wearing the necklace during Two-Timing Derek, so this takes place right before that.

And this is an obscenely long author's note…I suppose I'd better get on with the fic before I bore you. It's too late, isn't it? Oh, well. For those of you still reading…here it is, enjoy!

--Brandi

Disclaimer: I don't own Catcher in the Rye, Life with Derek, or anything else I mention that is copyrighted, trademarked, etc. Such a shame. But c'est la vie.

KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE

"_Life is a game, boy. Life is a game that one plays according to the rules."_

"_Yes, sir. I know it is. I know it."_

_Game, my ass. Some game. –Holden Caulfield, The Catcher in the Rye_

_I am the exception to _all_ rules. –Derek Venturi, Grade A Cheater_

LWDLWDLWD

_I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It's awful. If I'm on my way to the store to buy a magazine, even, and somebody asks me where I'm going, I'm liable to say I'm going to the opera. –Holden Caulfield, The Catcher in the Rye_

(To himself)_ You were born to lie. You are Lord of the Lies. So get in there and lie like you have never lied before. –Derek Venturi, Lies My Brother Told Me_

LWDLWDLWD

Derek had never really enjoyed reading. Contrary to popular belief, he was able to do so, and he actually picked up books once in a while.

He had stolen Ed's collection of Harry Potter books, and actually managed to read up to _Order of the Phoenix_.

He took one look at its size and gave up, figuring the movie would come out eventually. But he had enjoyed the first four.

He also read _Romeo and Juliet_ for school and kind of enjoyed that, too.

Sure, he had no idea what was going on for half the book, and Mercutio talked way too much, but there were swordfights and forbidden romance, which he found exciting. (The forbidden romance thing had attracted his attention immediately; Casey had just moved in at the time.)

So it really wasn't all that unusual that he picked up his latest English assignment, _The Catcher in the Rye_, and liked it immediately.

There was just something about Holden Caulfield. His buck-the-establishment, who-cares-about-schoolwork, chase-as-many-girls-as-possible, I'll-live-life-my-own-way attitude really affected Derek; he saw a lot of himself in Holden.

The book was full of violence, cursing, and adolescent angst…and Derek couldn't put it down.

He especially liked some of Holden's observations about life. He had been lusting after Casey (he called it lusting because he didn't want to admit it was anything else- it wasn't a crush; he had a crush on Kendra…this was something different) for a while now, and it was driving him crazy that he was feeling this way and unable to do anything about it. There was a quote from Holden that he identified with all too well: "Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

Derek found himself nodding along with the words as he read them. Holden understood his pain. Well, Holden wasn't in love (excuse me, lust) with his stepsister, but he did understand what it was like to have girl trouble, that was for sure.

He finished the book a full three days ahead of schedule, even before Casey did. (Her English class was reading it, too.)

She was on the last page about two hours after he had finished. Derek was so proud of himself for beating the keener at something like this, that he was tempted to hold it over her head.

But he couldn't tell her this…that would mean admitting he had done homework willingly, and that wasn't a good weapon to give her.

LWDLWDLWD

On the day of the book's discussion, Derek was actually looking forward to English class. He had remembered to bring the book to school, had the assigned essay on it folded neatly inside the front cover, and was toying with actually contributing to the discussion.

Kendra came up to him at his locker that morning, leaned in close to him with her chin on his shoulder, and began whispering about how sexy he looked.

He usually found it irresistible when she whispered in his ear like that, but today it just got on his nerves.

Maybe that was because he had bumped into Casey in the hallway this morning, when she was in nothing but a towel.

He jerked away quickly, as Kendra's breath began to tickle his neck.

She looked hurt. "Der-Bear, what's the matter?"

He used all of his energy to push away the thoughts of Casey that had been threatening to take over, and gave her a small smile.

"I'm just nervous about my…math test," he lied easily. "Coach says I have to keep my grades up, you know."

Kendra wrapped her arm around his waist, leaning against him again. "Aw, Der, you'll be fine. I'll help you study during lunch."

Derek focused all his attention on her eyes smiling up at him and couldn't help but smile back. He knew there was a reason he liked her; it wasn't just a way to keep his mind off Casey, or to make Casey jealous (which was totally working until stupid Kendra had decided Casey needed a boyfriend of her own, and threw that horrific party. She talked about that Max guy nonstop now, and they weren't even together…yet.)

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the bell, and Kendra blew him a kiss as they went their separate ways.

LWDLWDLWD

The discussion on _The Catcher in the Rye_ was not as enlightening or entertaining as Derek had hoped. He began to zone out as soon as his teacher mentioned "the symbolism behind Holden's red hunting cap."

Wasn't a hat just a hat?

Apparently not.

After a fifteen minute discussion on how it symbolized Holden's alienation from his peers, or something, Derek was nodding off.

It wasn't until his teacher mentioned "reaching for the brass ring" that he got interested. He sat up straighter, trying to take it all in.

As far as Derek understood it, on old fashioned carousels there used to be rings that children had to try to grab as they came around the circle. Most of the rings were iron, but there was one special one made of brass, and if a child caught that one, he or she would win a prize.

He remembered the scene in the book where Holden put his younger sister Phoebe onto the carousel, and recalled that there had been a mention of a brass ring.

It seemed that in the book it most likely symbolized a loss of innocence. Derek hadn't been innocent for a long time, so that wasn't the part that made his stomach churn.

No, it was the part that came next.

"Today, the expression 'reaching for the brass ring' means reaching for something you can't have, like a prize or some other valuable," his teacher explained. "Holden is reaching for acceptance in society, but he'll never get it. He'll always be an outsider."

He didn't know why, but this perfectly summed up his feelings for Casey. He was always a foot short of that brass ring with her. He would do something nice, and then ruin the moment with an insult or a prank. He would go out with other girls to distract himself, but they weren't helping him get any closer to that brass ring.

Sure, Kendra was his longest relationship so far, and he genuinely liked her, but she was an iron ring, not a brass one. He didn't win any prizes by being with her.

LWDLWDLWD

Derek was still lost in thought as he headed to the mall with Sam after school. He had promised he'd tag along to help Sam pick out a birthday present for his sister.

Derek knew this would entail going into stores he'd usually never be caught dead in, but he didn't care. Anything to take his mind off that stupid book. Holden was too deep for his own good.

"I think she likes this store," Sam said hesitantly as they headed into Claire's.

Derek groaned. "Kendra buys most of her jewelry in here. She dragged me around the entire store last weekend looking for the perfect earrings to match some new dress she bought."

The corners of Sam's mouth twitched up in amusement. "Want to wait outside?"

"No, I can handle it," Derek replied unenthusiastically. "Here, how about these?" he asked, holding up a pair of toe socks.

Sam wrinkled his nose. "It's too…cute. She likes homemade type stuff. Maybe we should try that new jewelry store across the way."

Derek agreed and they headed over to the new store.

Soft rock was playing as they entered, and every corned was filled with plants: bamboo, ferns, flowers, you name it. Interspersed between the shrubbery were cases of jewelry, mounted on wooden tables carved with jungle animals.

"Casey would love this place," Derek remarked as he and Sam spread out, looking at the hundreds of pieces of jewelry on display.

Sam wandered over to a shelf full of earrings made from feathers, and Derek walked idly among the necklaces, glancing at the case full of braided hemp chokers, the shell pendants, and beaded anklets.

He came across a bin marked "Clearance," and sifted through it, tossing aside junky-looking bracelets and cheap mood rings.

All of a sudden, a peculiar necklace caught his eye. It was made of thin black rope, with a knot tied at the end to hold a dangling silver hoop.

Okay, so it wasn't a brass ring. It wasn't even real silver. But he knew in that moment that it was just what he needed. If he bought that necklace, and wore it whenever he was spending too much time thinking of Casey, maybe it would help him get over her. At the very least, it would remind him that she was something he couldn't have, and that she needed to stay that way.

His own personal brass ring.

He held up the necklace, admiring what it could mean.

It could mean no more fantasizing about Casey when he was with Kendra. No more holding his breath whenever he walked into her room unannounced, hoping to find her decent (or rather, not decent). No more trying to show off for her, or bringing home girls to make her jealous. From now on, he would be in control of his life again.

_Well, you never know_, Derek thought wryly, realizing that all those things probably wouldn't happen.

He checked the price. Five dollars. He could deal with that.

Sam came up behind him, excited. "Look, D, it's perfect!" he exclaimed, holding up one of the hemp necklaces Derek had passed by earlier. "She loves stuff like this, you know, environmentally safe and biodegradable or something."

"Sounds like Liz," he said, as Sam dragged him to the counter. After paying, Sam gave him a funny look when he realized Derek was still standing at the counter, clutching the necklace.

"Are you buying that, Derek?" he questioned, looking doubtful. "What is it?"

Derek, Lord of the Lies, had no idea what to tell his best friend for a moment. But, he figured something out quickly enough.

"It's just something I found on the clearance table. I kind of like it," he explained, trying to shrug it off as just a silly impulse buy.

Sam still looked skeptical, but urged him to hurry up and buy it. "Let's go then, I want to get home and wrap this before her party tonight."

Derek paid for the necklace, and slipped it over his head as they walked out of the store. Instantly he felt as if a weight had been lifted. The cold metal against his skin would be a great reminder that he shouldn't think about Casey in any non-brotherly way.

And it worked, too, until he entered his kitchen and found Casey rustling through a drawer, bent over so that her shirt was inching up her back.

He stood, transfixed by the little strip of skin, until she pulled the drawer out too hard so that it fell, spewing its contents all over the floor. "Damn it!" she yelped, as a ladle fell onto her foot.

Derek thought it was the cutest thing he had ever seen, her standing there surrounded by utensils, rubbing her foot.

But of course what he said was, "Careful, Klutzilla," and he headed out of the room with a smirk, leaving Casey to clean up the mess.

So the necklace didn't make him forget about her. But he continued to wear it, if only to remind himself that he had to keep reaching for that brass ring.

Hey, if kids on a merry-go-round could get it, there was no way in hell _the_ Derek Venturiwas going to fail.

LWDLWDLWD


End file.
